Put Down Shoes, Pick Up Flowers

     Ahhhhh can you feel it?? As you walk outside, the light breeze brushing your cheeks, the sun embracing your whole body, the pollen clogging up your nose, etc. It's spring!! I almost feel like this stands for the beginning of a new year instead of January. This is when everyone does their "spring cleaning", their springtime shopping (or in my case apparel adjusting with scissors), their big life decisions, and so much more! It's hitting everyone, this spring fever....
     As the spring blooms, the outside seems to be more of a friend than an icy-hearted foe. So naturally, I, as do many others, go to the park and soak up this love! Working in retail however, I've noticed a different opinion of what to do when this beauty hits us.
     The mall. It's a huge box filled with material things that we all "need" to succeed in life. Why are so many drawn to it when the outside is so beautiful? It confuses me because when I see a lovely day, I instantly complain about having to work indoors and hope and pray that when I get there, a patio will have been built and we can work in the sun. Shopping is and should not be an activity during a lovely day.
      Being in college (not saying I am some super wise 19 year old, but I have had a tiny bit of insight), has shown me how clothes and appearance are of little significance. No one cares if you bought new clothes from some fancy, high-end store, or new make-up. In college, there's no popularity contest proving a winner if he/she looks the best. We just are who we are and have friends who love us the way we are. I have started the see the better things in life.
     I've noticed that we base all of our lives around material things, I mean even this post is centered around a computer so I am not saying that I am anti-materialism. I just hate that this is our life... things.
     So as I hear birds chirping outside, I'm going to end with this....


     It's a new season.
     It's a new day.
     Embrace the gift of Spring
     Before God takes it away.
     Put down your phone
     Take off your shoes
     Stop for a second
     And look at your view
     Is it a screen
     Is it a text?
     Don't worry about
     What happens next
     Just look up
     Change your view
     Because God always has
     Something new

     Spring is here people! Let's start some new habits!!!!


     God is love :)

Oh Boy..

     Before I go into detail on my night.. which was great... here's a little back history:

     All my life I have struggled with my appearance. Being the biggest, tallest, most developed girl out of my friends was hard to ignore. I always thought of myself as fat, too tall, and ugly.
     Throughout the years this opinion of myself has gotten better. I think higher of myself looks wise. I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I am able to look in the mirror and not want to cry because of every flaw I find on my body. It's been a lot better now :)
     The biggest problem I've faced recently (being the past year) has been... boys. Getting my hopes up, always predicting rejection, and feeling undeserving of a guy's affection has always gotten the best of me. I felt that every guy I was attracted to only looked at me as a "dude" which is pretty much how it is. Each day has gotten better.

     So tonight....

     I had been having these thoughts for a few weeks about guys and what it was that I apparently wasn't bringing to the table.. in other words what was wrong with me?
     At church tonight, God was just assuring me and assuring me that everything will be fine... and I definitely believe that He will bring the "one" into my life when the right time comes... patience is just an issue I guess.
     So after a great night ending with God-made chili dogs and onion rings at Varsity with some super cool pals.. I drove home alone.. and then I let it out.....
     I cried. Just asking and asking God why can't I get a sign? What is wrong with me? If I'm considered the "exception" when it comes to girls that aren't that great to guys, then what's wrong with me? Is it because I look like I'm five in the face? Cause I wear too many colors for normal eyes to handle? What? haha.
     But God just let me vent. He let me get everything out and now I feel a ton better. He was patient with me.. so I should do the same.
   
     If you're reading this and you're dealing of have dealt with the same thing.. just know that God knows how you feel and so He definitely knows the outcome. This wait will be well worth it.

      And so........... we wait :)

He Knows

     First, I want to give praise for the handy dandy bible app. It has not only given me scripture no matter where I am, but it has also saved me from possible hours of wasting time on Temple Run.
    This week has been pretty insane. I started school for the Spring semester and luckily my schedule isn't too horrific but some classes (actually just Chemistry which I think the devil is involved in that matter) are pretty stressful. Also, I have a dorm to myself which has been bittersweet Bitter because I'm by myself and sweet because I'm by myself ;). My home has changed tremendously with a new roomie, a new room which contains a n new surrounding for me.. hardwood floors, which is ballin.
   
    Anyway...

     So I, like many others I'm sure, have struggled in the past when it comes to getting into the Word (I capitalize word in assumption that you know it is ze Bible :) ). But this week has been awesome. I've been able to clear my mind easier and also welcome what God wants me to know in.
     This is how I read the word daily:
     Step one: opened the app because my bible was left in my car (that's where the praise comes in)
     Step two: prayed to God to show me what I need to read.. not just me reading more of what I read in church the previous Sunday.. it's more personal in my opinion.
     Step three: I let him show me (which includes shutting my eyes and letting Him guide my fingers over the books.. the chapters.. and then I start on verse one)
     It has been a tremendous success!! Each time I have done this, He has shown me things I need along with things I wasn't at all thinking about until now.
     True story (actually just happened)
     I have to work so I wasn't able to attend church so I took out the good ol' app and let God do His work. He led me to Jude 1 and I began reading from there.
     At first I didn't realize what He was trying to tell me but then it hit me....
     Just before I read this scripture, I had to do an English assignment which was to read and respond to "There is No God" by Penn Jillette. I wasn't frustrated but it left me thinking about a lot.. like what caused him to feel this way. In Jude, it talks about patience and pretty much just allow God to His job. Sometimes all we can do is pray.. and so I did :)
     It's stuff like this that just pushes me to read more and pray more and love more and hug more and smile more and laugh more and... well you get the positive point :). It helps me go further in my walk.
     I mean, it just proves that HE KNOWS. He just brought words to me from an essay I had just read. He was watching over me as I did a simple homework assignment. That's amazing how He truly does look over even the simplest of things that we do.

    Praise Him :)

In Remembrance of Brutus

     I know I did a blog post yesterday and I don't really like having a daily thing going.. but it's 12:03 and it has already been a super emotional day.. So writing/ typing things out will make things better! And after reading this, if you have come to a conclusion that I am dog crazy.. well you'd be right :)

     

     This will be a letter to my dog (yes dog) Brutus:

     Dear Brutus,

     I remember when I first got you..... I was five years old and I was awaiting for your arrival at the house. Well... maybe not you specifically.. I thought you were a new barbie.. I mean mom said on the phone that my new present was blonde, so what else was I supposed to think? You were way better than a barbie though....

     You were the cutest thing ever! A small, blonde Pomeranian.. with cute little eyes and a puppy love like no other. 

      I remember when I used to dress you in my cabbage patch kid doll's clothes.. I'm pretty sure that's the reason why you hated any clothes after that.. Sorry I scarred you for life.

      I remember when we lost you for a few days when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. Those were the worst times of my life.. and it was such a blessing when we found you. You traveled pretty far away remember? Like ten miles away. 

     I remember when you'd lick away my tears when my daddy didn't come again... I knew that you loved me. 

     I remember when you would sit in my lap for hours because you could never be petted enough. 

     I remember when you started getting old. Your kneecaps would give way and you were in pain a lot. 

     I remember during this time, you were still .licking away the tears off of my mother and my faces when we found out that the family of three was torn apart. 

     I remember you getting older

     and older

     and older

     I remember mom and I talking about you and you couldn't even hear us. Or see us for that matter. 

     I remember when we decided that it was time... time for you to no longer be in pain

     I remember this morning holding you until you fell asleep... and even afterwards, petting your tiny head as if you knew I was there. 

     I remember the sadness that filled me.. but happiness and joy that you were no longer in pain. 

     

     The biggest thing I remember is...

      Other than mom and me.. you were the other one that has been there through everything.. EVERYTHING.

     I will remember you always. 

     You had a good run Brutus :) 14 years of nothing but love. And our love for you continues afterwards.

This is Brutus before he started getting old. :)

                                                                                                       

                                                                                                 

Twenty Twelve... Two Thousand Twelve...2012..Dos Mil Doce.. Etc.

     Well this is my first blog of the new year!! Woo (as confetti and paper horns fill the air)!
   
     Anyway....

     I thought that it would be cliche but acceptable if I started with a my New Year's Resolution list:

     1. Be healthier (I know it's so unique and insane)
     2. Finish my first year of college with all A's and B's (halfway there!)
     3. Meet some new folks
     4. Have less anxiety attacks when getting lost.. (I would say not to get lost as much but that's just an impossible goal to reach)
     5. Figure out my specific major
     6. Try to be more spontaneous
     7. Get a tattoo (or "tatted up" if you will)
     8. Be in a movie as an extra or.. pushing it... a character!!! ;)
     9. Maybe have some questions answered (wink wink..nudge nudge God)
     10. And last... have as much fun as I can while also having the least amount of stress in my mom and my life.

     Sorry it's not that exciting.. but when it comes to the outrageous sky-diving or flying my own airplane.. well that can wait for another year ;)
     All in all I truly believe that this year will be a great year! I've learned a lot.. been through several obstacles... found out who I am... and also became comfortable with who I found... I loved.. got my heart broken.. wrote a song about it.. then another one... been through tension at home... tension at school...tension with friends..I've gained weight.. lost weight... gained weight... lost weight... etc.
    I've been through a lot.. and I feel that this year will be a bit of a break. Positive things have already come into my mind that I know are happening this year and it just puts a smile on my face when I answer the door to 2012.
     I super hope that everyone has a bright light ahead of them when thinking about the new year. If you start with positive.. you'll end with positive :) Have faith. Everything de-tangles and works out in the end. When you're struggling.. there's always someone struggling more than you are. So let that help be thankful for what you have. Put a smile on. Chuckle a little.. and let the new year of 2012 begin!!!!!

Dear Dad..

     Dear Dad (aka my name for God),
Thank You for everything You've done for me. It still amazes me that You've done this much, yet I don't deserve any of it. You're too good for me and yet You still love and adore me.

Thank You for filling the hole. The hole that was left by past fathers who left me in heartbreak.. and You stayed with me...even when I didn't know it. Your embraces that I feel are more nurturing than any father can give me. You've made sure to give me more hugs than the others did.. which isn't saying a lot but it's so awesome and generous of you.

Thank You for Your answers at all the right times. They've led to the best testimonies because of Your creative way of doing things that only You would do. Waiting for the responses have been hard sometimes but they become so overwhelmingly joyful and worth the wait when I receive them.

Thank You for showing me that I'm not alone. I focused on the wrong target.. relationships (boyfriend/ girlfriend that is). I made it harder on myself to withstand the "single life" but You made it easier.. I'm more patient for that perfect one that You have already made and know. By not being with an earthly boy.. I've only strengthened my relationship with You.

Every day is my Father's day. So this letter can be for any day..

Oh and Dad.. thanks for being the best Daddy anyone could ask for! I'm so lucky to say that I am Your daughter. I just wish I would have known your greatness when I was a child.. cause everyone would have definitely been paying attention to us at the Daddy Daughter Dances ;)

                                                                                               Your Daughter,
                                                                                                        Karlye

What I Could Have Been...

     Back home for the holidays! I've been missing the good ol' Douglasville for a while. Missing my friends and family and especially the lack of cop sirens and ambulances in the streets like in the city. But last night wasn't too enjoyable even though I was with some old friends.... I was able to truly be the "outside looking in" on a lifestyle that I was part of.. and it was embarrassing to watch.
     As I arrived at the establishment, the first thing I hear is live country music, even though it was good, it's hard to get into something that I can't really stand hearing ever! The mixture of hunter camouflage Bass Pro Shop hats was enough for me to forget my longing to go home. Then,  more people started arriving. More familiar faces. More bad memories. As they showed up, I could easily tell that none of them were at a normal state with their glassy, blood-shot eyes and their beer at hand.
     If this were a few years ago, I would have been okay with this scene... would have laughed at their stupidity and joined along to get a dose of that "liquid courage." But now, being that I have moved on.. it was rather embarrassing knowing that I looked up to them because they were "cool" to me. Yeah... I used to be dumb.
     As I sat there, no smile on my face, or laughter in my eyes, I thought about all those times I shared with them....and also knowing that majority of them didn't know who I was because every time I encountered their drunken presence, they were too intoxicated to meet me properly and remember me the next morning.
     With all this being typed, it gives me a chance to reflect more on the situation.. in a more positive way.
      I am just so glad that God took control. I don't have to look up to any being.. just The Almighty One.. and that's pretty ballin. I get to feel productive each day. I get to cry tears of love and joy while I worship instead of hate and pity that I can't fit in with everyone else. I get to feel comfortable and sure that my God is going to be there for me no matter what instead of unsure and worried that my "friends" will forget to take me home... or they aren't physically or mentally capable of doing so. I get to have God's love wrapped around me instead of a stranger who's dark thoughts become actions when alcohol is involved.

     I love who I am.

     It's just so great to know that I took the right path when I did. I'm just so thankful and undeserving of God's love, yet He gives it to me anyway... I've never been happier than I am right now. Looking for human satisfaction will never suffice. It doesn't matter. Humans partake in sin just as much as I do if not more, in some cases. Don't look for acceptance because God has already found you and accepted you for who you are, the clothes you wear, the color of your hair, and even the weird make up you wear. We are loved. And I'm so glad I chose to love Him back instead of choosing what I could have been...