Apologies.... Way easier to think about than putting into action. We hate letting that guard down, showing our vulnerable side and saying that we are wrong. We hate to lose. We hate to submit. We always feel that it causes a weak spot in our being. But the good news is..... it's far from a sign of weakness.
Today I visited a church to see my best friend sing her heart out for our Lord. It was amazing as always to be able to worship God freely. With her on stage though, was a man who troubled in the past.... troubled in ways that not only changed my judgement towards him but also hurt my heart a little. He was such a big part in my beginning stages of getting to know the Lord that I would have never guessed that he would stoop to such low levels.... and now he's back.
I was upset to see him. Upset to see him singing for God after what he had done. However I did show courtesy and smile at him cause he of course saw me..( I mean I do have weird hair and wear very noticeable attire that surprises the normal human eyes).
After the service was over, he seemed to find me. He made eye contact at me and I waved.. but he wanted more. He asked me over to where he was, away from the group of flannel and TOMS that I'm always around (aka best friends). As I went over there, I expected the usual.. "Hey how are you doing?, Wow it's been a while since we've seen each other., How's college?, Anything new?, I see your hair is different... that sort of small talk. I was wrong. He started off the conversation with "I'm sorry."
I almost cried..the things that he had done I knew about but he didn't know that I knew. So I was shocked. He apologized for everything... he admitted to being in a bad spot and he feels awful that I looked up to him while he was in this dark... so dark... state of mind. He said, "If anything, I should have been the one looking up to you. Not the other way around." It was amazing to hear. I hugged him like the big bear he is and parted ways...
See? Apologizing is so hard to do, but it's so beneficial to the relationships we make down Life Avenue. It strengthens bonds. It heals wounded hearts. It shows how truly strong someone is spiritually, emotionally and even physically.
I challenge everyone (even myself) to think about who are people that we never apologized to because we were too worried about "strength". God will automatically put that specific person in your mind cause He's been waiting on you to do this. If not for that person, for Him, our Savior, our Lord. I prayed and the only one to come into my mind was myself. So it can be anyone that you need to re-link broken chains with an apology. God is love, so show your God towards the friends, the family, and the enemies. Don't worry, they'll forgive you. :)
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