Oh Boy..

     Before I go into detail on my night.. which was great... here's a little back history:

     All my life I have struggled with my appearance. Being the biggest, tallest, most developed girl out of my friends was hard to ignore. I always thought of myself as fat, too tall, and ugly.
     Throughout the years this opinion of myself has gotten better. I think higher of myself looks wise. I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I am able to look in the mirror and not want to cry because of every flaw I find on my body. It's been a lot better now :)
     The biggest problem I've faced recently (being the past year) has been... boys. Getting my hopes up, always predicting rejection, and feeling undeserving of a guy's affection has always gotten the best of me. I felt that every guy I was attracted to only looked at me as a "dude" which is pretty much how it is. Each day has gotten better.

     So tonight....

     I had been having these thoughts for a few weeks about guys and what it was that I apparently wasn't bringing to the table.. in other words what was wrong with me?
     At church tonight, God was just assuring me and assuring me that everything will be fine... and I definitely believe that He will bring the "one" into my life when the right time comes... patience is just an issue I guess.
     So after a great night ending with God-made chili dogs and onion rings at Varsity with some super cool pals.. I drove home alone.. and then I let it out.....
     I cried. Just asking and asking God why can't I get a sign? What is wrong with me? If I'm considered the "exception" when it comes to girls that aren't that great to guys, then what's wrong with me? Is it because I look like I'm five in the face? Cause I wear too many colors for normal eyes to handle? What? haha.
     But God just let me vent. He let me get everything out and now I feel a ton better. He was patient with me.. so I should do the same.
   
     If you're reading this and you're dealing of have dealt with the same thing.. just know that God knows how you feel and so He definitely knows the outcome. This wait will be well worth it.

      And so........... we wait :)